It was his ex-wife's
dog, a German Shepherd with a white beard and sad, gunky eyes. She
had run off with a sales rep who turned up once a month at the office
where she worked. Who would lean on the tall counter out in
Reception, his keys on the glass, a briefcase between his feet,
smiling like a boy. She couldn't resist him, even as she recognised
that he was smiling the same smile at young women all over the
South-East.
He remembered the first
time they'd been here, when Ralph was neutered, snarling in the back
of his old Cortina estate on the way, as if somehow aware of what lay
in store. Altogether quieter on the way back, trying to puzzle
things out, perhaps. A new melancholy hung about the dog, but only
for a while. He was doing her a favour. And they were back again
five years later, married now, when she was convinced Ralph had hip
dysplasia, which turned out instead to be a piece of glass, an
inch of viciousness, buried in his left forepaw. Or was it his
right? He'd have been seven then, half a lifetime ago, and always so
healthy otherwise.
But not now. Opposite
the house (emptier, quieter, since Cindy moved out) was a school. He
knew the caretaker from the pub and had a key to the small gate
twenty yards down the road. Every evening he'd take Ralph over there
and let him run loose on the sports field and every other evening
Ralph would shit in the long jump pit and he'd have to pick it up in
one of those bags you put loose vegetables in which he stole
occasionally from the supermarket for this specific purpose. I must
love you, he remarked once to the dog, I carry your shit around in a
bag. Ralph did not answer, other than by continuing, on alternate
evenings, to shit in the long jump pit.
Until recently this had
been the best bit of both their days. While Ralph chased around the
field Terry would smoke and look at the moon, if there was one.
Terry didn't know if such a thing as fellowship could exist between a
human and a dumb creature, but he was pretty sure he was happy, and
so was Ralph.
A month ago, perhaps a
little longer, Ralph had stopped jumping up at the sound of his chain
being removed from the hook in the porch. Then his back legs started
to go. Terry was helpless, fucking helpless, witnessing the sudden
deterioration of a dog he'd never asked for. Because a dog really
can be a friend, but in at least one way a useless friend, because
they can't tell you what to do. So Terry had brought him here,
carrying him out and laying him on a blanket in the back of his
Mondeo, and the vet had told him what to do, and he'd agreed. And
now he watched the dog on the table, apparently sleeping, the fur on
his side rising and falling, ever more slowly, until it stopped.
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