Saturday, August 12, 2006

Home Improvement



It's raining in my living room. Like in the Outkast Miss Jackson video. I thought that perhaps the tarpaulin protecting the exposed roof had shifted so accordingly I confronted my vertigo and climbed the scaffold ladder. I get vertigo on a horse, so climbing forty feet up in a storm was no small endeavour. It was a futile one, however. The tarp hadn't moved. The tarp has holes in it, rendering it useless. A tarpaulin with holes in it should be called something else. A perfaulin, perhaps. Or a roofaulin.

The builder is not returning my calls.

2 comments:

Cape Codder said...

I see that it is an international problem: getting a builder to return your call. They teach it in the very first class of building school: start a job, than leave it at the most ridiculous stage of "unfinishness". Wait a month to return any calls then show up as if you weren't missing for months and finish the job in about 3-4 hours.

jd said...

I once lived in an apartment where, every time my upstairs neighbors took a shower, water would shoot from the kitchen ceiling and flood the entire room.

You could prevent the flooding by placing a large pot in a very specific spot in front of the refrigerator. Unfortunately, nightly food/beer raids usually shifted the pot's position, and the floor would again be flooded in the morning.

Moral of the story?

I guess a tarp wouldn't have worked, either.